Phantom of My Dreams
Phantom of My Dreams
I close my eyes and see him.
The Phantom of my dreams.
Ghastly, Ghostly childhood memories,
That make me want to scream.
I lie in bed and search,
For the open door.
Unable to bare the pain of my past,
Unable to take it anymore.
I need to escape,
I need to leave this world called sleep.
It's only here,
That the Phantom I will meet.
I can feel his presence now,
His hands, his body, violating me.
I scream out, cry, and run.
Stumbling and falling as I try to flee.
He has me once more.
I look him in the face.
It's the same man,
Who's normally kinda and loving
A perfect cover for this disgrace.
"No, I don't want to"
in my child's voice I say.
He just grins and continues,
Then I give up,
My tiny body going limp.
Just letting him have his way.
As he continues
I give in
And in a strange way
I allow myself to feel pleasure from the pain.
I don't want to enjoy it.
But my body betrays.
When it is over and he's gone away
I sit down and cry,
I am so ashamed.
Then ringing through the air,
A shrilling scream calls upon the door to open.
My rescue comes to late.
I stand and hold my broken self,
Staggering slowly toward the gate.
I reach up and silence the alarm.
Then lay upon my bed,
Trembling in the dark.
Shivering from the residual thoughts.
I focus my mind, trying to push them away,
But the only thing I feel and hear,
Is the pounding of my heart.
I take a few, slow deep breaths.
Then I move.
Sitting, then standing on shaky legs,
And then walk toward the door.
I stop in the thresh hold,
And glimpse back toward my bed.
And through my mind
One last fleeting echo runs.
A silent ominous promise,
That tonight…
The phantom, will be back for more.
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